Taking that leap of faith
by Egoist101
Summary: George isn't so sure about letting Ryan go, there's so many things left unsaid that he cannot take leaving it all up in the air. Making the journey to London, will he get what he was looking for?


**Hi guys, so I while watching Hollyoaks I felt that George and Ryan were a really good couple and that they shouldn't have been broken up. And so, I have written this fanfiction for all of us to enjoy = ) This is my first time ever writing a fanfiction so I apologise in advance for any mistakes I have made. Please read, review and enjoy ^_^**

**Disclaimer: Characters and lines from the television show from this fanfiction are from the world of Hollyoaks and are not from my own creation. I do not claim ownership of these characters or the lines from the show as they belong to the makers of the Hollyoaks and this fanfiction is purely for entertainment purposes. I am not making any profit from writing this. This disclaimer goes for all the chapters to this story that I will write.**

"Next stop, London, Euston."

George looked up from the announcement being made and his eyes widened. The magazine George read on the train let him delve into a world of glam and gossip. But now being dragged into his own life once again, George became startled, sitting up straight and stiff, remembering where he was heading.

"Ryan", George sighed while sinking back into his seat.

_There's no going back now_, George thought, looking outside at the endless amount of countryside, waiting for the hectic yet thrilling city of London.

_2 Days Ago_

"One day he'll find someone and when he does, there'll be nothing you can do to stop it. Nothing."

George stopped in his tracks up the stairs once hearing that hurt strained voice of his first ever boyfriend.

_Why did he say that to Phoebe? She did nothing wrong,_ George thought.

Turning round, he saw Ryan quickly leave, embarrassed, drained and heartbroken. Coming back down the stairs slowly, George turned to see Phoebe still standing where she was, tense and staring off into space.

"Phoebe, are you, alright?" George said.

Phoebe seemed to have snapped out of it and turned quickly to George, noticing that he had tears welled in his eyes. She smiled at George but felt that bottomless hole in her stomach opening up and refusing to go away.

_Guilt_, Phoebe thought.

She smiled tightly at George, hating the feeling all because she gave bad advice to her best friend.

"Phoebe?"

She needed to get out of there.

"Don't worry about him, as long we've got us, you'll be fine." She went to grab the hoody that George gave her for her birthday, "Now do the best thing and delete his number. I doubt you want to contact him anyways."

George sat on the stairs looking at her, studying her, "Really? Maybe I should give us a bit of time apart".

"No!" Phoebe said a bit more forceful than she wanted, "I mean don't bother, he'll only want you back and try the same old tricks, don't do it George" she lowered her voice almost to a whisper "just don't". Feeling her own pain Phoebe quickly ran over to George for a quick hug "you'll be alright" she said, "Just delete that number. I gotta go, Jackie will want me back, bye".

After watching Phoebe hastily leave, George pulled out his phone and scrolled through the list of contacts. As it came to Ryan's number George felt a feeling of uncertainty.

_Do I really need to do this? Is Phoebe right? Maybe Ryan really was waiting and this was all a misunderstanding? _He thought.

He flashes back to when Phoebe told him what to do, with that determination in her eyes "And don't fall for any of that I love you crap, he's just trying to get you into bed".

Thinking of that exact moment, George looked into the picture of Ryan and deleted it. However as soon as the deed was done, regret washed over George and he instantly wished he could undo it. He needed to talk to Ryan.

_When we're both calm about it maybe we can discuss what happened, _George thought,_ I mean no relationship breaks off after one little argument. I just have to try, and if he even attempts to try something on with me then that's it, it's over!_

Ryan's face came into George's mind with that hurt and sad expression saying, "I was happy to wait. I thought you were worth it, you obviously don't think I am."

George curls into a tight ball.

_Unless he hates me that much that he doesn't want to talk_, George thought.

With one big sigh, George trudged up the staircase and went to his room, dropping onto the bed and hoping everything could just be easier. Slowly, he went under his duvet trying to block out the whole world, feeling wounded, vulnerable, scared and yet hopeful as well.

After many hours of having Ryan in his head, George fell asleep, deciding that he needed to go to London to see Ryan.

_1 day ago_

There wasn't much George could do on Lacey's birthday, apart from celebrate the fact that Lacey turned the big one six.

George kept himself busy by helping prepare the birthday meal, though he was shooed out as Martha wanted to handle everything, and keeping Lacey entertained and happy. Unfortunately all too soon the discussion of Ryan popped up, as much as it hurt, George had to lie to all his friends, saying he was going to visit his parents, otherwise they might have just talked him out of his plans.

At the end of the day while packing his bag George thought to himself _I can do this_.

_Present day_

_I can't do this! _George thought with inner turmoil,_ He won't want to see me, he probably despises me and will just walk away without even a word._

George clutches his bag tightly, knuckles turning white, as he starts breathing more quickly in panic and confusion of what he should do, having a debate of his actions within his mind.

_Maybe I could turn back now…_

…_NO you have to do this!_

_If anyone finds out about this I will not hear the end of it…_

"Attention passengers, we have arrived in London Euston"

George looked up to see everyone rushing to get out of the doors, carrying on with their lives, but all he could do was stay seated, thinking of all the good times that he and Ryan had together. George thought of that one moment, where Ryan stood and spoke, with such strength and passion, those three words "I love you". That feeling, that confession, made George feel so elated and yet disappointed as Ryan said what Phoebe predicted.

_But maybe I was quick to judge what he said_, George thought,_ he could have honestly meant it, and all I did was stamp on his heart and rub it in with my heel… _

"Excuse me sir" said a gruff, annoyed voice.

_He actually said I love you…_George thought happily

"Sir", came the voice again a little louder now.

_...he possibly loves me… _George continued in thought.

"SIR!"

George jumped and turned to find a very annoyed and red faced train guard. This made George turn red in embarrassment.

"Sorry", George said quietly, hoping he wasn't in any trouble.

The train guard sighed and said "Are you alright? The train has stopped."

…_Ryan…here I come. _George thought_._

George stood up with determination "I'm fine thank you.", he said "I just had to figure a few things out, but no worries" He stood there awkwardly as a silence fell between them as the train guard looked at him in sheer confusion.

"Well then….bye", George said, running off the train, on his way to see Ryan.


End file.
